Not Ashamed

Sometimes it is hard to admit our weaknesses and faults; yet, when we do, we can not only learn a lot ourselves, but help others as well. It has been hard for me to come to the place where I am willing to write about this here, but one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog was to share my testimonies with others so I feel I need to share this.

People may think that I have it all together and some have said that I must be some sort of "super-woman" to be able to handle seven kids and everything else, but they are wrong to say that. First of all, the only way I can even make it through a day is to give the first part of my day to the Lord and ask for His guidance and strength throughout the day. The times I don't make time for God in the morning are the days that are horrible. Second, I don't handle everything well. My house could definitely be cleaner. I could not lose my temper and not yell at my kids. I could do more than just cook, clean, and spend time with my kids. Third, I don't have it all together in any way shape or form.

I experienced slight postpartum depression after having Sabra so I knew what to look for after having the twins. People told me that I should really be careful about it because of how much I have on my plate. When things were fine even after they were a few weeks old, I figured I was fine; however, I was wrong. When the girls were about 5 weeks old, I started feeling depressed and unable to cope with all I had. I felt I wasn't being a good mom to any of my kids or a good wife to Chad. I knew I had to get this under control before it got worse, so I contacted my herbalist. She saw me the same day I took the girls in the last time because she was worried about me. She checked my hormone levels and discovered I had no progesterone--NONE! That is why I was feeling depressed. It seemed a little odd to me because just the week before when my hormone levels were checked, I was fine. I guess they can drop drastically very quickly. She gave me an herb to take to raise my progesterone and another herb to help with the depression until my hormones were balanced. Within 24 hours of taking the herbs I was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel and now feel even better. It has only been five days since starting the herbs, and I don't think my hormones are balanced yet, but I am definitely dealing with things a lot better now.

I guess my reason with sharing this is to let people know that you shouldn't be ashamed of postpartum depression. It is a real thing caused by an hormonal imbalance. Put your trust in God and the things He created for us to get you through.